Fun: Zodiac Love

I’m taking a momentary departure from my usual slant to bring you this deliriously wicked trip around the zodiac. Specifically: my amorous experiences with members of each sign. Where did this idea come from? Sleep deprivation. Enjoy!

Aries: Can’t help you here, but I have admired many a hot, hot, hottie from afar!

Taurus: Sigh. I wish I had something to report. You’ll have to check in with me later.

Gemini: Now we’re talkin’. The second guy I dated (back in 1996) was a Gemini; we had fun and he took good care of me when I needed him. Then he proposed (symbolic) marriage. Had to turn him down.

Cancer: The first long-distance “relationship” I had was with a guy whose handle was “Mr. Lovegel”. Nice guy, but it never went anywhere. Pity.

Leo: OMG! I briefly dated a Leo. We had a penchant for kissing in public all over downtown San Francisco (and even more in the privacy of his office). What a KISSER! Not much of a looker, but those were fond memories!

Virgo: The third guy I dated, an overworked Electrician, was a Virgo. Our first date ended up on a picnic blanket in Golden Gate Park. We almost got thrown out of a gay bar during Pink Saturday because of my overly-amorous advances. During Pink Saturday. Out of a gay bar. Enough said.

Libra: Can’t help you here either. The few I’ve known have been very sweet, kind people.

Scorpio: What a devilishly, delightful dance it is with Scorpio. And well worth the wait! I even ended up marrying one. As for the others, {THIS HAS BEEN CENSORED FOR YOUR PROTECTION BY THE MOTION PICTURE ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA}. Glad I got that off my chest.

Sagittarius: The two I dated were no where near as honest as the archetype would have you believe. The second one also proposed marriage. Had to turn down the little liar.

Capricorn: A Capricornian couple? You gotta be kidding!

Aquarius: Again, there was just a single long-distance relationship. No chemistry. None.

Pisces: The very first guy I dated was a Pisces. It was magic! Maybe my Pisces ascendant had something to do with that. I wish I had met him a littler later. Things may have turned out differently. As it was, I had leave when he mentioned the “L” word. It was too soon.



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