What’s Going On With Me?


I’m taking a momentary departure from my usual literary fare to share what is happening in my life at this moment. It’s Sunday, February 11, 2018. Life in the neighborhood is quiet and peaceful. I feel relatively centered and grounded and I hope you are too! Most of you know me either as a family member or as a friend. Those who don’t know me will probably get to know me through my writing. As they say “a stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet.”

I started on a journey of self-discovery through writing about two or three years ago. The actual journey started when I was much younger, and the path towards enlightenment has been anything but straight and narrow. In fact, I’ve taken quite a few detours on this trip we call life. The way I look at it, that’s where the real learning takes place. Up till now the bulk of my writing has been about exploring my past and sharing what I experienced and felt. It’s been a great ride so far and I hope to one day make a book out of it. It will have sex, drugs, mysticism, religion, cults, depression, death, and rebirth — all the ingredients of a best-seller.

Last December, I had a breakthrough after surrendering myself to a heart-centered guided meditation. That’s when I began writing poetry. It was, and is, a much-needed creative outlet for me. I’m still not entirely sure where some of the words come from — they are often profound. It is when life is at its most quiescent that I am able to fully plug in to my source of inspiration. Then the words just come. But other times, there is more of what I would call an effort to invoke them. I find that just by the act of writing these vignettes that my mental state becomes more relaxed and will to just go with the flow. Poetry imitates life, and then life, in all its mystery, imitates poetry.

As I look back at the poems I’ve written, a few things jump out at me. First, it’s very obvious that I have a determination and drive that have gone missing for several years. A lot of things that need to change are going to change — all for the better. Second, my life has a renewed spiritual direction; I’m no longer content to remain a spectator. I’m jumping in, head first. And despite my grim determination, I’m learning to let go and trust the universe. It’s an odd alchemy of apparent opposite forces. But that’s what makes life so interesting

On another note, I’ve decided to vacation in Costa Rica this November. I’m going to a place called Rythmia Life Advancement Center. It’s more than just a vacation resort. It’s a place where one goes to heal through yoga, spa treatments, shamanic breath work, and plant medicine ceremonies. These ceremonies are nothing short of life-changing. I’ll be writing about my experiences for sure! It’s funny: five years ago, I never would have considered doing something like this. I wasn’t ready for it. There are a lot of things I wasn’t ready for five years ago. But time heals all wounds.

I’m ready for whatever awaits me.

Leave a Reply