Lane’s Last Year

I was reviewing some old Facebook posts in preparation for the story I’m writing about Lane. The following passages are taken directly from these posts and will give you an insight into Lane’s evolving state of mind and body.

Lane: Today (Thanksgiving) I am thankful for still singing and playing music, improved health, almost 8 years with Todd, a back yard and really cool dog and his favorite toy ball. Happy Thanksgiving all!!!!

Lane: Just got tested again for glaucoma. Getting old sucks!

Lane: Just came back from our annual Xmas dinner and gift exchange in Palo Alto. Todd’s mom, dad, Todd, me and grandma. I got my very first Nano I-Pod!!! Will spend tomorrow figuring out what it can do. No more lugging around my CD player or cassette player in my knapsack with all the tapes and CD jewel cases.

Lane: Happy birthday Todd!!!!!
Todd: I love you, sweetie!
Lane: Za veeling ist mooo-schual.

Lane: Gone over census history of my mother’s side and found I am Swedish, Danish, English and German. Some of this I did not know till now.

Lane: Rain, rain and more rain. The ground is saturated and there are small lakes forming in my back yard. After a 3 year drought here, I know we need it….but all at once!?

Todd: My partner, Lane, is sick. Please send healing thoughts his way. Thanks!

Todd: Lane just had a full colostomy (entire colon removed). He’s in the ICU now. I don’t know if he realizes what happened. I’m pretty heartbroken…

Todd: Lane was moved to a skilled nursing facility today. He’ll probably be there for the next two weeks at least. He’s doing much better! Can’t wait to have him home again.

Todd: It has been a difficult week for Lane. He was doing very well when he was moved to the skilled nursing facility. Now he’s not sure when he is coming home. On top of that, he’s in pain due to complications from the abdominal tube that was sutured two weeks ago. He has a computer now and can check e-mail and Facebook. If you want to contact him, please do not hesitate to do so. I know he would appreciate it!

Lane: Hoping for some positive news from the doctor’s as to when i can finally be able to mange things at home. Will be recovering at Todd’s house. Been pretty ill with some serious surgery done. Hope to be a better on line friend as I get to feeling better. thanks for all your well wishes over the last couple of months

Lane: Happy to report that I will be released from the hospital next Thursday 5/20!!! Thanks again…..everyone……. for all your good energy and thoughts.

Lane: Asking for all your wishes and good energy. Been home from the hospital 2 days now and between Todd and myself trying to learn an infusion system, sort out all the meds I used to take and the new ones they put me on in the hospital over the last 3 months. I guess what I am saying is I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed at all that must go into my home care routine. All of your kind words mean a lot to me.

Lane: Thanks everyone for your best wishes. Things are improving and the surgeon still thinks I may be able to get the restoration surgery as early as September. Hope all is well with all of you.

Lane: Have to see the surgeon tomorrow. Some complications set in. Hoping it can be solved in her office and not another admission. Wish me luck.

Lane: Not as big a problem as I feared it might be. So Todd and I spent another semi-stressful day in traffic and medical center parking and elevators. Filled a script for more pain meds…so …. Thanks for all your good wishes. Surgeon says I am still on schedule for the corrective surgery in September. No set backs.

Lane: Thanks everyone for your support and kind wishes. September is not far off. I am performing all my infusion tasks myself now and feel pretty confident.

Lane: Visiting nurse did my weekly pic line dressing and blood draw today. Blood pressure and other vitals are in good range. Hoping to upgrade the comcast for more variety. Getting bored with limited programming and reality shows. Really miss playing in the band and other energy required activity. TPN infusions basically supply the nutrients for survival. Not much energy for much else.

Lane: Thanks everyone for your thoughts and good wishes. This coming week is a crucial CT scan that will be the deciding factor in getting the surgery. Wish me luck.

Jim: I am greatly concerned for my ex-partner, my good friend and EXTREMELY longterm survivor Lane and for his partner Todd. Lane had a full colectomy in February and went in for restorative surgery this Saturday. Todd says he was in a lot of pain last night and apparently quite confused. Please send a lot of LOVE & LIGHT for two very beautiful people. Thanks.

Todd: The stent used to close the fissure has moved. The doctor told me that there isn’t much they can do for Lane. I’m going to be visiting him today.

Jim: Sending LOVE & LIGHT to my dears Lane & Todd. I will always be here for you. I will help you carry your weight, your joys and your pains. <3

Jim: Lane passed into his next life about 10 minutes ago. His partner Todd was there alone with him at the moment. Much love and thank yous to everyone. <3

In Memory of Lane Carl Ruoff


  1. Todd, thank you for sharing your personal story. Love and light to you. I see this is a reoccurring expression in your story with Lane.

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